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216 Strict Standards: Resource ID#175 used as offset, casting to integer (175) in /home/portalon/100hostov.com/docs/mysql.php on line 215 Strict Standards: Resource ID#175 used as offset, casting to integer (175) in /home/portalon/100hostov.com/docs/mysql.php on line 216 Strict Standards: Resource ID#226 used as offset, casting to integer (226) in /home/portalon/100hostov.com/docs/mysql.php on line 215 Strict Standards: Resource ID#226 used as offset, casting to integer (226) in /home/portalon/100hostov.com/docs/mysql.php on line 216 Strict Standards: Resource ID#175 used as offset, casting to integer (175) in /home/portalon/100hostov.com/docs/mysql.php on line 215 Strict Standards: Resource ID#175 used as offset, casting to integer (175) in /home/portalon/100hostov.com/docs/mysql.php on line 216 Strict Standards: Resource ID#227 used as offset, casting to integer (227) in /home/portalon/100hostov.com/docs/mysql.php on line 215 Strict Standards: Resource ID#227 used as offset, casting to integer (227) in /home/portalon/100hostov.com/docs/mysql.php on line 216 Strict Standards: Resource ID#175 used as offset, casting to integer (175) in /home/portalon/100hostov.com/docs/mysql.php on line 215 Strict Standards: Resource ID#175 used as offset, casting to integer (175) in /home/portalon/100hostov.com/docs/mysql.php on line 216 Strict Standards: Resource ID#228 used as offset, casting to integer (228) in /home/portalon/100hostov.com/docs/mysql.php on line 215 Strict Standards: Resource ID#228 used as offset, casting to integer (228) in /home/portalon/100hostov.com/docs/mysql.php on line 216 Strict Standards: Resource ID#175 used as offset, casting to integer (175) in /home/portalon/100hostov.com/docs/mysql.php on line 215 Strict Standards: Resource ID#175 used as offset, casting to integer (175) in /home/portalon/100hostov.com/docs/mysql.php on line 216 Strict Standards: Resource ID#229 used as offset, casting to integer (229) in /home/portalon/100hostov.com/docs/mysql.php on line 215 Strict Standards: Resource ID#229 used as offset, casting to integer (229) in /home/portalon/100hostov.com/docs/mysql.php on line 216 Strict Standards: Resource ID#175 used as offset, casting to integer (175) in /home/portalon/100hostov.com/docs/mysql.php on line 215 Strict Standards: Resource ID#175 used as offset, casting to integer (175) in /home/portalon/100hostov.com/docs/mysql.php on line 216 Strict Standards: Resource ID#230 used as offset, casting to integer (230) in /home/portalon/100hostov.com/docs/mysql.php on line 215 Strict Standards: Resource ID#230 used as offset, casting to integer (230) in /home/portalon/100hostov.com/docs/mysql.php on line 216 Strict Standards: Resource ID#175 used as offset, casting to integer (175) in /home/portalon/100hostov.com/docs/mysql.php on line 215 Strict Standards: Resource ID#175 used as offset, casting to integer (175) in /home/portalon/100hostov.com/docs/mysql.php on line 216 Strict Standards: Resource ID#231 used as offset, casting to integer (231) in /home/portalon/100hostov.com/docs/mysql.php on line 215 Strict Standards: Resource ID#231 used as offset, casting to integer (231) in /home/portalon/100hostov.com/docs/mysql.php on line 216 Strict Standards: Resource ID#232 used as offset, casting to integer (232) in /home/portalon/100hostov.com/docs/mysql.php on line 215 Strict Standards: Resource ID#232 used as offset, casting to integer (232) in /home/portalon/100hostov.com/docs/mysql.php on line 216 Strict Standards: Resource ID#233 used as offset, casting to integer (233) in /home/portalon/100hostov.com/docs/mysql.php on line 215 Strict Standards: Resource ID#233 used as offset, casting to integer (233) in /home/portalon/100hostov.com/docs/mysql.php on line 216 Скажи Смерти, зачем тебе жить дальше?Человек на секунду закрыл глаза и почувствовал, что кто-то пришел к нему. Легкий холодок ощутили руки, лежащие поверх одеяла, щека, лоб.
- Она! Как и положено, у изголовья. Старуха с косой или …? - мелькнула любопытная мысль.
- Не бойся меня, посмотри
Человек умирал. В чистые, белые окна больничной палаты дышала осень. Желтые ветки осыпающихся берез бесшумно трепетал солнечный ветер. Выцветшее за лето небо манило, но не дарило настроения. В те минуты, когда устав от самого себя, боли и неизвестности, человек закрывал глаза и впадал в небытие, к нему приходили друзья детства Эдик, Толя, Колька. Они говорили с ним, брали его за руку, смеялись, вспоминали былые проделки. Он приходил в себя, просыпался, радостный от душевной встречи, а через минуту вместе с накатывающейся болью вспоминал, что друзей уже нет, они ушли: Эдик в прошлом году в далеком Израиле, а Толя и Николай намного раньше. Ночь не приносила облегчения человек не мог встать, почти не мог двигаться, но его мозг жил и мысли вертелись в голове, словно падающие листья, сорванные с веток порывами ветра.
- Как хочется жить, - говорил он, - Смерть, в чем твоя логика?! Оставь меня, уходи! - К другим? - Звучал в голове ответ. - Нет, не надо к другим, уходи поиграй где-нибудь, послушай шум реки или музыку, - отвечал он мысленно. Человек терял сознание или засыпал. Наступало утро. "Кушать, кушать!", - звучал в палате звонкий девичий голос. Он звал эту девчушку Воробушек: такая же оптимистичная и звонкая. Есть не хотелось, но он медленно ел, ожидая ее восхищенной похвалы. - Да у Вас сегодня отличный аппетит, с таким аппетитом болезнь нам не страшна. Потом шли капельницы, уколы и некоторое затишье. Человек на секунду закрыл глаза и почувствовал, что кто-то пришел к нему. Легкий холодок ощутили руки, лежащие поверх одеяла, щека, лоб. - Она! Как и положено, у изголовья. Старуха с косой или …? - мелькнула любопытная мысль. - Не бойся меня, посмотри, - негромко сказала она очень знакомым, но забытым голосом. - Не могу вспомнить этот голос! Скажи еще что-нибудь? - Баю-баюшки, баю, - запела она. - Мама! - по сердцу прошла щемящая дрожь и слезинка вытекла из-под закрытых век. - Да, сынок, это я. Пришло твое время уходить, ты готов? - Нет, я не хочу, я очень рад тебя видеть, Мама, то есть слышать, - он все еще не открывал глаза, - Я так скучал все эти годы. - Тогда пошли. - Но я... Хочу жить?! У меня столько дел! - сказал, как ребенок, когда хотел остаться в Городском саду, - но пришло время уходить", - подумал он, вспомнив яркую картинку раннего детства, аттракционы, духовой оркестр, газировку. - Хорошо, только зачем? - ровным голосом спросила Она. - У меня дети.. - Они уже взрослые, состоявшиеся люди, ты был хорошим отцом, дал им возможности и открыл горизонты, они будут скучать по тебе, как и ты обо мне. - А работа? Без меня все пойдет крахом. - Ты лукавишь. То, что ты создал, твое дело, уже давно плывет, как корабль в открытом море, не боясь штормов! - А моя книга? Осталось несколько глав... - Книга? Ты писал ее десять лет, но... Она никому не нужна, будь честен, ведь ты на смертном одре, я знаю тебя уже столько лет, от первого вздоха, первого толчка... - Ты права, книга, это пустое, а мои друзья? - Лучшие уже там, а остальные на подходе, оторвутся от суеты, подумают о вечном, выпьют водки и разойдутся по своим углам и всяким мелким мыслишкам. Так, что же тебе дорого, Сынок? - Голос звучал, так нежно, наполняя его сердце любовью и покоем. Человек замолчал, молчала и Смерть. Прошла минута, а может час. Его веки дрогнули, из-под них потекли ручьи слез, он зарыдал, сначала тихо, потом во весь голос. Слезы текли по щекам, скатываясь по подбородку. - Сынок, я вижу ты понял, зачем тебе нужно жить дальше, - Она поцеловала его в лоб. Холодок прошел по лежащим на одеяле рукам. Стало тихо, до звона в ушах. Дверь в палату тихонько открылась. Худенькая женщина с уставшими глазами подошла к кровати. Пальцами вытерла его слезы. Он открыл глаза и заморгал от соленой влаги.
- Милая, ты знаешь, она приходила ко мне.. - Кто? - Женщина взяла его холодную ладонь своими ладонями... - Мама...она была со мной. У тебя такие теплые руки. Как там наша яблонька? Растет? - Листочки еще зеленые. Года через три у нас будут свои яблоки, мы будем пробовать их вместе, правда дорогой? - Правда, радость моя... и ради этого стоит жить дальше. . Strict Standards: Resource ID#235 used as offset, casting to integer (235) in /home/portalon/100hostov.com/docs/mysql.php on line 215 Strict Standards: Resource ID#235 used as offset, casting to integer (235) in /home/portalon/100hostov.com/docs/mysql.php on line 216 Strict Standards: Resource ID#236 used as offset, casting to integer (236) in /home/portalon/100hostov.com/docs/mysql.php on line 215 Strict Standards: Resource ID#236 used as offset, casting to integer (236) in /home/portalon/100hostov.com/docs/mysql.php on line 216 Просмотров: 1558
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